Talking to the Wall (7): Idle Hands

I'm proud of my hands. No,not because of that. Because they've destroyed galaxies and saved princesses, among many other heroic, buttony victories. So why do Microsoft hate them?

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Talking to the Wall (6): The Face of Nintendo

So, Nintendo. Not satisfied with ruining games by making ham-fisted motion controls ubiquitous, you've also unleashed an army of saccharine, menacingly friendly mannequins and witless, hateful celebrities to help you shift yet more plastic waddle-pads to aspirational over-eaters. Well done. But even if the adverts alone didn't make me want to vomit my legs off, how did pressing 'start' ever lead us to this? And why do Nintendo keep paying people to smile at me?

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Talking to the Wall (5): The Lying Game

Having watched three and a half episodes of Mad Men, I am now an expert on advertising. For example, it is now impossible for me to see a statuesque redhead in a conical bra without immediately having to go and sell a refreshing packet of cigarettes to some dismal prole. It’s for their own good. Now, get me a glass of whiskey and a historical tart, and I’ll wax lyrical on why the Games Industry is too hung up on its own lies to be able to know how to lie to you.

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Talking to the Wall (4): Bioware and the Death of Fun

I’m so tired of being told that gamers want to tell their own stories that I’d like to tell you one - if only to prove that not everyone is the storyteller that gaming execs keep saying they are. It’s about the death of fun. I hope you don’t enjoy it too much.

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Talking to the Wall (3): Fables

I’ve been going on (for some time now) about how games talk to us about themselves, rather than inviting us into their world, and how they seem to have more confidence when they’re talking about being games rather than just being them. Now that Fable 3 is currently looming at us with its overfamiliar Molyneuxian recipe of promises it can’t meet, it's a good excuse to examine Fable 3's potential by savouring the aftertaste its big brother left us.

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